Good enough parent (in english)

I have more than once heard the phrase “Good enough parent” and felt that it was something that appealed to me in words but also made me shiver a little. I have also used the term myself, and felt that it had parents to feel relaxed. Glad that it is enough to just be and do the best we can.

I like to feel that it’s nice to just be. Being here and now and not in either the past nor the future. Every second I have the opportunity to influence my life. But while it feels liberating to be able to influence my life it also feels a little strained. My life is in my hands and I could affect it. My potential can only blossom if I choose to nurture it.

We do the best we can based on our circumstances. Something I always keep in mind no matter who is doing something. Everyone does the best they can based on their circumstances. I could sit back and think that I am doing the best I can based on my circumstances. But I will not actually do so. Because I have realized where I would have been and where my children would have been if I chose to think “Good enough parent” for x number of years ago. I am proud that I dared to look at myself and what areas I could develop within. That I have learned the importance of encouragement instead of praise. To listen to my and the kids’s needs and feelings instead of logical explanations. This to see mistakes as learning activities. The feeling of taking responsibility and say sorry has given me so much. It has enriched my life but also my husband and my children’s lives. The most important people in my life.

I can feel more love for my mother when I think that she did the best she could based on her circumstances. It does not mean that I do not wish she had done some things differently. I really wish she had the courage to face my feelings even when emotions were sad, sad, angry and disappointed. I understand that she herself did not have the opportunity to live out those emotions and therefore do not really know how she would respond to them. I wish she, for my sake, but also for its own sake had dared to face these feelings even if she did not have the prerequisites for them. Think of the rich world that could open up for her and for me.

I could choose to continue in this rut. I could choose to face these feelings and my children in the same way as my mom and dad did but I choose to be courage and daring to face the unknown. Not only for my children’s sake, but for my own. By exploring the unknown, I can develop and create the opportunity for my full potential to flourish.

What is most interesting when we talk about “Good enough parent” is something that I have previously written about. The fact that many of us have quite high standards for how we want our children to be and how our children should act. If we are to continue to lean back against “Good enough parent” should we let our children sit back and think “Good enough kid.” Yes, I want you to Stop expect the child to always be right and do right! Stop expect that the child should never do wrong!

I think that our children should be able to feel that they are a “Good enough kid” but that does not mean they’ll stop developing. Evolving is something that is enriching and qualifying our potential to grow.

I think we should not underestimate either ourselves or our children. To evolve is wonderful enriching and one of our basic needs. So think like “Good enough parent” and “Good enough kid”, but do not lean back and be content where you are. The development is part of life and can bring yourself and your loved ones a wonderful opportunity to release your particular potential.

“There is no other who are just like you” “You are unique”

Daring to look myself in the mirror and think about my parenting requires a lot of courage. I find things that I would have done differently. The only one who can make sure that I meet the next similar situation different is me. It is my responsibility. So the next time my son realizes that the game he has been looking forward to was not as he had planned, I intend to confirm him even more. I will not think about what other parents think if I actually confirms that he was triped and that when the referee has blown the whisle it does not matter if someone hits the puck out of his hand i the goal and score it is not a goal. All The kids have not all the knowledge of how the games and rules are but those kids that knows the rules ofcourse become frustrated when the referee does not judge by the rules. The frustration I will confirm next time. I can look myself in the mirror and promise.